Insufferable Know It All
by Geekery
Summary: COMPLETE!!!!!Bassically, a funny romance between R&H. I think I did rather well on this one! REVEIW!!!
1. Whoah!

Disclaimer: Do I own Harry Potter? Oh, absolutely! Hey didja see the news? The moon really is made of cheese!

Reason: I have been dying for something like this to happen since, like, the second book, AND IT HAS YET TO HAPPEN!!!! I had hoped and dreamed that something like this would happen in the fifth bookbut NO!! All hopes were dashed. Grr. Not that J.K. would write something like this, I mean, we do tend to follow Harry. So, unless Harry was watching a spectacle of this sort, we wouldn't hear of it. R&H would either tell Harry (doubtful), or he would hear of it by word of gossip (most likely), which would leave Harry quite perturbed, if not a little angry.

Point of View: This will be majorly told from Ron's pov. Why you ask? Because I am female, and I think it will be a lot more fun to write a romance from the male's standpoint, not to mention a lot less complicated (hee hee, I made a funny). 

Caution: I don't usually do strictly romantic stories, so this will go one of two ways: R-rated, or really cheesy.

A/N: After re-reading this chapter, I have decided this leans more towards R-rated, but is not, as it is really PG-13, due to interesting conversation. Yes I'm weird, I know.

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Chapter One: Whoa!

"Bloody Hell!" Hermione whipped 'round. "Excuse me Ron?" Ron blinked "Nothing." he said rather hastily.

But it was far from nothing. Ron had just noticed that Hermione had grown considerably over the school year, in ways that men can't. 

But it was quite understandable. Ron debated with himself as he watched Hermione's curves disappear around the corner. Those Hogwarts uniforms did tend to hide the feminine figure, much to the disappointment of older Hogwarts boys. 

Once the testosterone buzz had faded, and his head cleared, Ron vaguely remembered that Hermione had been wearing a look of extreme anxiety. Ron got up to follow his friend and, as much as he hated to admit it, love interest, with genuine concern. The fact that her bust had grown was merely a plus.

He arrived at Hermione and Ginny's bedroom door just in time to see it snap shut. Feeling that he would learn a lot more outside than in, he leaned toward the door and was pleased to find a spare extendable ear in his pocket. He leaned against the doorframe ready for a good eavesdrop. 

Inside, he heard Ginny's concerned voice. "What's wrong Hermione?" Hermione's dissatisfied and slightly embarrassed voice answered back. "It's this shirt, Ginny, it's much too tight!" 

"Well you did grow some over the school year now didn't you?" scoffed Ginny in a tone that suggested she thought this was a trivial matter, and that Hermione was acting a bit ditzy to be worried about it. 

Hermione, however, was quite unabashed by the sudden lack of concern on Ginny's part, and continued worriedly. "Well, obviously, but- it's just that-well, they grew more than I wanted them to. I walked past your brother and his eyes nearly popped out of his head." Ron smiled vaguely. 

Ginny's very annoyed voice floated out of the room and into the extendable ear. "Oh, for goodness sake, Hermione! Be thankful you have largish oneswish I did."

Ron's jaw dropped, and his eyes widened in shock. Girls actually talked about these things?!? Then again, he thought, us guys talk about something like thatif we were comparing the subjects. 

Ron suddenly, heard a loud crack from inside the room. Someone had just apparated, and that someone was Mrs. Weasly. "Here you go dears, freshly laundered clothes." she announced in as airy a tone as one could manage these days.

"Oh thank goodness you're here mum!" said Ginny, sounding immensely grateful. "Tell Hermione she looks absolutely fine in that shirt! She thinks it's too tight across the chest."

"Ginny!" Hermione shouted angrily.

There was a pause, then Mrs. Weasly began kindly." Hermione, there is no reason that your recently large chest should make you feel self-conscience. You've got a very nice figure, and I think you should, for lack of a better word, display it" Ron nodded, he was all for that. "within reason" Mrs. Weasly finished firmly. Ron scowled. Mrs. Weasly continued. "The shirt you're wearing is not to tight, it's a T-shirt for crying out loud. All shirts are going to be relatively tight across the bust line; it's just the way things are. Honestly, Hermione, you should be pleased with what you've got, mine were never that big." Ron blanched and immediately felt he was going to be violently sick right there in the hallway. He shoved the extendable ear in his pocket, and bolted for his room, wishing, with all his might, that he knew how to modify memory, so as to delete the last sentence of that conversation from his now sickened mind.

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I thought this would make a good stopping place for my first chapter, though it's short by my usual standards. I have to find the lyrics to a song for the end of the second chapter, so it might take me a while to update. I'll update my SW storyor I'll start a James and Lily FF, don't know yet.


	2. This should be good evil smile

Disclaimer: See first chaptergrumbles at herself for not thinking up Harry Potter Universe. I don't own the song either'tis Steven Curtis Chapman's

I FOUND THE SONG LYRICS!!!!!!!!!! Obviously, or I wouldn't have updated

Hey peoples!!!!! Gosh, this is so much fun! I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders by writing this storyPOWA!!!! I wish to thank the few people who did review, which happens to not count my friendsI'm unloved. 

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE YOU MUST READ!!!!! Ahem: I heard the song on the radio, so I could only write down the lyrics as best I couldsome lines may not be exact SCC material.

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Chapter 2: This should be good. `evil smile` 

Over the next few days, Ron behaved very oddly indeed. On the one hand, he couldn't keep his eyes off Hermione. They watched her every move as they trailed around the room from behind a book, appliance, or person. His mouth formed a small lopsided grin whenever he heard her rant about something, so that he had the look of someone reminiscing about something they were very fond of. On the other hand, he was avoiding her at all costs. When she would try to strike up conversation, Ron would turn a deep maroon and either ignore her, or leave through he nearest exit. If they were walking towards each other in the hall, Ron would turn the opposite direction, and walk briskly away.

Hermione was not stupid. She knew perfectly well what was going on, and decided to act.

~~~

Ron spotted Hermione heading towards him and he turned in the opposite direction, which happened to be the direction of his room.

"Ron, a word please." Hermione shouted from halfway down the hall. Ron began to walk faster. Hermione must've been very quiet when she ran, because she was suddenly right behind Ron. "Ron I just wanted--" Ron nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice so close, and broke into a run. 

Hermione had had enough. She pounced. Ron suddenly felt two rather small hands colliding with his shoulders at high velocity. This was followed by the hallway floor rushing up to meet him. There was a loud thud, and after the dust had settled back into the antique carpet, it revealed Ron lying face down on the floor with Hermione atop him.

In one swift movement, Hermione flipped Ron over on his back and straddled him, wearing the uncanny impression of Professor McGonagall for which she was known so well. "Ron, I'm tired of what's been going on between us, and I have decided that you and I will talk things over tomorrow after breakfast. You will meet me in"she paused and rolled her soft brown eyes heavenward, thinking. "the library. I want you to say that you're comingyou know, with words." 

Ron flushed worse than ever. "Al-alright." he stuttered, avoiding eye contact. Hermione's demeanor changed as quickly as one turns on a light switch. She broke into a pleased smile, and leaned down to hug Ron, whose eyes widened slightly as he felt Hermione's chest pressed against his. Hermione then stood up and walked off. Ron stared after her with a shocked expression.

After a while, Ron slowly and shakily got to his feet. Who was he kidding?!? There was no way that Ron could talk to Hermione about this particular issue! It just wasn't gonna happen! She was too smart and, as of a week ago, too beautiful. Ron began banging his head on the wall. He was poor, and everything he owned was second hand! She didn't deserve that, or, to put it more bluntly, he didn't deserve her. And to top it off, Ron didn't even remotely know how to treat a woman he was supposed to be "deeply in love with". And yetRon hoped she didn't care. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well you know it's not the first time

And you know it's not the last

But here I am on my knees

Prayin' for the storm to pass

But what I am really needin'

Is more than just relief

I am cryin' out for wisdom

Cause it's such a mystery 

I'm a clueless man when it comes to knowing how to love a woman

~~~

How do I love her? 

How do I let her know she means more than anything to me?

How do I love her?

~~~

Out of all the gifts you've given

There is none more precious to me 

Than the treasure of my wife*

And still all the love I give her

Is like a raindrop in the sea

When compared with your love for her

And that's why I'm askin' please

Teach me what she needs

I'm an earnest man when it comes to learnin' how to love this woman

~~~

How do I love her?

How do I let her know she means more than anything to me?

How do I love her?

~~~

I know it's gonna' take a lifetime

To answer this prayer

But that's okay

Cause I've given her my lifetime anyway

~~~

How do I love her?

How do I let her know she means more than anything to me?

~

How do I love her? 

How do I let her know she means more than anything to me? 

How do I love her? 


	3. Hee hee

Disclaimer: ~points at word disclaimer~ EVIL little things! Oh well, I don own itany of it! Ya happy Rowling?!?!?

Sorry it took so long. I left the notebook that has all my stories in it at school when the band staff had a meeting, and could only get it after band camp started. DON'T HURT ME!!!!!

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Chapter 3: Hee hee

Hermione found Ron in the library after breakfast pacing the far end of the room. "Glad you're here, I was afraid you wouldn't show." Ron said nothing; in fact, he didn't even look at Hermione, who pretended not to notice. Hermione sat down and watched Ron pace for a few minutes before eventually shouting in a bothered tone. "For goodness sake Ron! Sit down!" Ron stopped pacing immediately and slowly turned to stare at Hermione. The two gazed at each other for a moment before Ron sat down, avoiding further eye contact. 

Hermione broke the awkward silence. "I honestly don't see what's got your undies in a bunch! I just grew a trifle! I mean, I'm still the same person, just with a couple of modifications!" Ron remained mute. Hermione didn't understand. Her sudden beauty had triggered emotions that Ron had been trying to deny for, well, a long time. 

Hermione couldn't be the mature one any longer. "Oh, sweet bloody Mary! I suppose there's only one way to get through to you!" Hermione leapt out of her chair and began to advance towards Ron, who, in turn, jumped out of his chair, knocking it over, and began to back away. Hermione didn't bother to stop him, she knew he wouldn't be able to back away for long, and she was right. Ron backed himself right into a corner. He only stopped trying to move backwards when Hermione stopped moving towards him when she was about 5 inches away. Hermione placed her hands on Ron's shoulders, stood on tiptoe, and deposited a short, but meaningful kiss on Ron's mouth. When she pulled away, Hermione looked rather pleased with herself. Ron however, looked like Hermione had turned into a giant spider.

Hermione looked up at Ron's face, her own looking very frazzled. "Did it ever occur to you, that I don't care how much money you've got, or that you're not famous, or that you're not the most famous young man in existence?" she said, reading Ron's mind. Ron raised his eyebrows; he could sense a rant coming on. Hermione continued, her voice growing steadily higher. 

"I've fancied you since I first saw you on the Hogwarts express and you had that bit of dirt on your nose. It broke my heart when you said I was a nightmare. Then you came and saved me from that troll andand. In second year, when you accidentally hexed yourself because Malfoy called me a mudblood. In third year, when we had that horrible fight over the firebolt and Crookshanks. 

"If you're leading me on, you're doing a very good job of it, the way you got all jealous over Viktor, and how you took up for me when Malfoy made my teeth grow and Snape did nothing. I've always been a little sweet on you, but over time it's evolved into something moreit's not quite love yet, but it's getting there. What I'm try-" 

Ron shushed her with a weird expression on his face that was on the verge of unreadable. It looked like all the good feelings one could ever have rolled into one. "Take a breather." He said, owning to the fact that Hermione hadn't taken a breath since she started ranting. Ron let out a good-natured snort of laughter. 

"I don't see what's so funny! I've just been pouring out my-" she was cut off this time by Ron's hand pressing against her mouth. "It's all right Hermione, honestly." He said while moving a little closer and wiping tears from Hermione's shining eyes with his thumb, the rest of his hand curving around her chin.

His hands dropped to rest around her waist. "Question." He said softly, his eyebrows raising slightly, making his eyes larger and allowing Hermione to concentrate on those dreamy blue eyes. "What's between you and Krum?" Hermione, whose arms were resting on Ron's broad shoulders, and hands were playing coyly with the short hair at the nape of Ron's neck, looked surprised. "Oh, I broke it off with him ages agoaround Christmas." She said dismissively. Ron frowned. "Then what were all those-" "other letters?" Hermione finished the sentence for him. "I was just trying to get him to leave me alone." She finished sadly. 

When she finally averted her eyes from the floor, they met Ron's. She closed the small gap between them so their bodies were separated only by fabric. Ron's arms moved lower on Hermione's waist while one of hers wrapped around his shoulder. Her other hand ran through his flaming red hair, pulling his head towards her as she stood on tiptoe. Ron didn't see a point in holding back any longer. He leaned forward and met Hermione with a kiss that was filled with passion. One arm wrapped tight around Hermione's waist while the other relaxed slightly so his hand rested on the curve of her posterior. 

Ron vaguely realized Hermione was slowly pulling him towards the center of the library. He gradually remembered there was a large mahogany table in that general area. Grinning as well as one can while snogging someone senseless, Ron went along with Hermione and began to walk forwards, steering her backwards towards the table. It wasn't long before Hermione could no longer back up. She leaned backwards, pulling Ron with her onto the table. 

Ron couldn't have been happier, what with Hermione lying on the table, her lower leg hanging off, and him leaning over her like he was. He let instinct take over and felt all his pent-up-since-age-twelve feelings for Hermione course through him allowing him to give and receive the best first kiss known to mankind.

Suddenly there was a creek of a library door opening, and, with a thud, Hermione pushed Ron to the floor and sat bolt upright. Both, looking very odd indeed, stared at the person in the doorway, and that person was none other thanMrs. Weasly. 

Mrs. Weasly looked unsurprised at the two teenagers' appearance. "I was wondering when I'd walk in on you like this." She commented flatly, sounding highly amused. Both teenagers followed her until she left the room, holding a book and obviously trying not to laugh. 

When the door finally snapped shut, Ron stood back up, and walked over to lean against the table. Hermione widened her legs so Ron could stand right in front of her. Ron cautiously put his large hands on her upper thighs and the two stared at one another before Ron spoke. "What just happened?" Hermione raised both eyebrows. "Well, I would say that we just shared our first kiss." She said smugly. Ron narrowed his eyes in mock annoyance. "Not physically you insufferable know-it-all!" He said in a teasing manner. Hermione smiled pleasurably at the 'insult'. "It was more than just a kiss though, it was closure. We've finally told each other that we've been in love with each other since we first saw each other, and were too shy to say so!" Hermipone declared happily. Ron smiled affectionately. "Good." He leaned forward and kissed her gently. "I was hoping you'd say that." He finished before enveloping her in a kiss that lasted for quite some time. 


	4. Score!

Disclaimer: Ok, let's use some logic. I am a 14-year-old girl. My dad is a minister, and my mom teaches pre-k. I live in the bible belt south. Do you HONESTLY think I own Harry Potter? If you think I doYou're an idiot.

A/N: Allllllllrighty!!! This is the last chapter, but don't get mad at me; it provides closure. It starts out oddly, but things are cleared up later, just bear with me. Oh, Yeah, THIS IS THE FIRST STORY I'VE EVER COMPLETED. Be proud of me.

Get your box of tissues ready! *bangs head on keyboard- cmvnbfjhgty -and sobs.

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Chapter four: 

"and that was when Hermione and I first knew, 110 percent sure, that we would spend the rest of our lives together." Said Ron emotionally as he finished an account of he and his wife's first kiss on their seventieth anniversary. He stared joyously at the set of great-grandchildren before him, thew youngest one having fallen asleep. He looked up and smiled warmly, making his face even more wrinkled than it already was. 

He stood up and reached for his cane. "I'll go say goodnight to her then." He said croakily and walked out the door. Ron walked slowly down the hallway and down the stairs. He opened a side door, put on a light jacket and walked onto the dew-wet grass. He took out his wand and muttered "lumos" as he walked towards the small wood behind his large but quaint home. 

Ron walked along a barely audible trail until it stopped in a clearing. In the middle of the clearing was a lone tombstone. It read "Hermione Weasly, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and insufferable know it all." Ron stared down at the grave. 

He and Hermione had shared sixty-nine glorious years together in marriage. They had three delightful children, and had lived long enough to see seven grandchildren and fifteen great-grandchildren. Ron was only sorry Hermione had died with a sixteenth on the way. He remembered everything so well, from the first kiss, to proposal, to honeymoon. Ron grinned, especially honeymoon. He also remembered the twenty-five births he had witnessed, namely the first three. 

He had confessed to Hermione everything she had before their first kiss, and she had replied simply, "Well, obviously." Ron smiled ruefully at the memory. "Never did a damn thing right, and you still loved me." Whispered Ron as he wiped away the tears. 

He was only vaguely aware when Harry and Ginny Potter walked into the clearing, wands alight. 

Then Ron continued the tradition he had kept since Hermione had died almost a year ago, shortly after their anniversary. "I love you Hermione, and I always will." He said quietly as he stared at the mound of earth before him. "Goodnight, you insufferable know it all." 

When he finished, he hobbled over to Harry and Ginny. Ginny kissed him on the cheek then went ahead to the house. Harry stayed behind. "Sorry you had to lose her, mate." He said, his emerald eyes tearing in a wrinkled face that was framed with messy gray hair, lightning bolt scar just as noticeable as ever. Ron scoffed. "You lost her too." he replied half-heartedly. "It was worse for you." Harry paused before clearing his throat. "Come and see uswhenever you like. I hate to think of you alone all the time."

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When Ron had gotten back to the house, he changed and pulled out an old photo album. He looked through them smiling contentedly. Some were pictures his children had never seen before, some they had. There were pictures of Ron's wedding with Harry as best man and vice versa. There were pictures of Hermione pregnant with each child, the birth of each child, and other mementos of his and Hermione's life together. Without knowing he had, Ron fell asleep and pictures became wonderful dreams. He was in the middle of holding his youngest child and second daughter when he was jolted awake. He sat up and immediately had to suppress a yell. He had felt a floating sensation and had looked down to see his white face devoid of life. "I-I'm dead?" Ron asked incredulously in a faraway voice. **_BANG!_** He was flying upward. Through the clouds, out of the atmosphere and through space he flew. Very suddenly, it all stoppedand Ron fell face down onto the coolest most perfectly green grass. He braced himself for the pain of getting up, but he got there, and it never came. He felt a teenager again. He looked down at his hands and saw the same old freckles, but no wrinkles. He reached up to feel his face. Yet again, no wrinkles. His eyes widened and he grinned widely. He looked down at his clothes. Jeans and a shirt! Ron felt like screaming for joy. One last test. He reached up and pulled out a few strands of hair with a small yelp of pain. As he looked at the hairs, he let out a whoop. Just as flaming red as ever. He was young again! But if he was young again, that could only meanRon looked up and saw the most beautiful version of the house he had shared with Hermione and running down the path wasHermione. She was just as her remembered her sixty-nine years ago, except more beautifulsomehow. "Hermione?" he squeaked, not daring to believe it. She smiled and nodded, weeping for joy. Ron blinked. "Is this heaven or something?" She nodded and ran to him, grabbing him in a hug that lasted for a full two minutes. When they broke apart, both were sobbing. "Ron?" "Yes, Hermione?" "That was a beautiful story you told last night." She said referring to the recount of their first kiss to the children. Ron raised an eyebrow. "It's not like I haven't relived it a million times over" he paused before adding, "you insufferable know it all." Hermione laughed out loud. "I've been waiting a year for you to say that!" she screamed before pulling him into a furious kiss, knocking him to the ground. 


End file.
